Going back to work after maternity leave: why returning to work after mat leave feels so big

Your work bag is sitting by the door for the first time in a year. The baby is asleep, the lunch is packed, and there's a knot in your stomach you can't explain. If you'd like support, we offer postpartum and perinatal therapy in Kitchener-Waterloo, in person or online anywhere in Ontario.

This article looks at going back to work after maternity leave: why it can feel so heavy, what's normal, how to prepare, and when it helps to talk to someone.

Why returning to work after parental leave feels so heavy

Many parents in Canada take a long parental leave, so the end can feel like a bigger shift than expected. You've spent months in a different rhythm, and returning means stepping back into an old one.

By then, work can feel far away. Returning to work after maternity leave can mean new systems, new faces and a new version of your old role. It's normal to feel rusty for a while.

Leaving your baby in someone else's care

Handing your little one to someone else, even someone you trust, is a real transition. You might wonder about naps, feeds and whether they'll miss you. Whether you've chosen daycare, a relative or a nanny, childcare is a leap of trust. Broken sleep doesn't help, and many parents start their job again still short on sleep.

A new version of you

Motherhood changes how you see yourself, and work is often where you notice it. The transition can feel like trying on an old coat that doesn't quite fit. It's part of the postpartum transition into a parent who also works.

Back to work after maternity leave: the mixed feelings

You might notice that your emotions don't line up neatly. Many mothers describe:

• dread in the last weeks of maternity leave
• relief at having time to think and finish a cup of coffee
• excitement about using skills you've missed
• sadness at drop-off, sometimes all day
• feeling tearful at small reminders of home

You may also feel irritable or flat by the evening. These emotions can change from hour to hour, and they're not a test you're failing. Moms often say the morning drop-off is the hardest part, and work itself is easier than they feared.

Grief, guilt and identity at the end of maternity leave

The end of maternity leave can bring real grief. You're saying goodbye to a season of long mornings, slow walks and close time together, and that loss deserves room. Some parents feel guilt for wanting to work, and others feel guilt for not wanting to. Many feel guilt about both.

Identity can feel unsettled too. You're not quite who you were before your maternity leave, and you're still learning who you are as a working parent. That shift in identity takes time. Coming back to work after maternity leave doesn't erase the bond you've built with your baby.

Work after maternity and who you are now

Life at work after maternity can look different. Your career goals may shift. Some women feel more focused and ambitious; others want more balance and less overtime. Your values may have moved, and it's okay to let your career reflect that.

Many moms say the first adult conversation over lunch felt strange and wonderful at once. You don't need to be a perfect working mom. You get to decide what work after maternity means for you, and those decisions can change as your baby grows.

It can help to talk with your manager about how your work fits your life now. A short conversation about work after maternity, can clear up a lot.

How to prepare for the return to work after maternity leave

A little planning won't remove every worry, but it can lower the stress of the first week. Think of the return to work after maternity leave as something you ease into, not a single day.

Plan a dry run

A week or two before you start, do a dry run of a work day: wake-up, feeding, getting out the door, drop-off and the commute. It shows you where the morning routine gets stuck and gives your baby a short, safe practice at being apart.

Settle childcare early

Settle childcare well before your maternity leave ends if you can. Many mothers find the first childcare days are harder on them than on the baby. Knowing your baby is in good hands makes it easier to focus at work.

Share the load at home

Talk with your partner. Decide who handles drop-off, pickup and sick days before you're both back at work.

Lean on family. If family members can help in the first weeks, say yes.

Lower the bar. Simple meals and a messy kitchen are fine for now.

Workplace support worth asking for

Your workplace may offer more than you think, and it's okay to ask. Before returning, check in with your manager about what's possible. Good workplace support can make the transition gentler. Your workplace's HR team can also explain what support is available.

A gradual return. Some employers allow shorter days or a mid-week start for the first few weeks.

Flexibility. Ask whether you can shift your hours or work from home some days.

A place to pump. If you're breastfeeding, ask for a private space and time for pumping.

Clear boundaries. Agree on when you're reachable, so work doesn't follow you into every evening.

This often shows up as a quieter first month at work: fewer meetings, more time to catch up, and room to adjust.

Your first weeks of returning to work

The first weeks of returning to work are usually the hardest. Try to keep your expectations kind:

• expect some mornings to fall apart
• plan one small thing to look forward to each day
• check in with your baby's caregiver, then let yourself focus
• notice what's getting easier, not just what's hard

The transition back takes time. Many parents feel steadier after a few weeks of returning to work, and good days and hard ones often sit side by side. Your expectations can be gentle. Returning to work is a skill you rebuild, not a test on day one.

When parental leave ends for partners too

Going back to work after parental leave is a transition for partners and non-birthing parents too. Your partner may feel their own mix of feelings, or feel their leave was too short to settle into family life. Talk about how each of you is doing after returning, not just the calendar of work and pickups. We look at how this season affects couples in our article on relationship after baby.

Making work and home fit

Returning to work after maternity leave means fitting work and family together in a new way. A few ideas:

Protect your evenings. Leave work at work when you can.

Keep a short daily plan. A short list helps when your mind is busy.

Build in rest. Rest is part of your health, not a reward for finishing everything.

Ask for help early. Feeling overwhelmed is a signal to share the load, not to push harder.

When you're returning to work, it helps to decide what matters most at home and at work, and let the rest go for a while. Many health benefit plans through work also cover some therapy.

Over time, most families find a rhythm for work and life that fits. Your health, your home life and your work can all have a place.

When it's more than adjustment

Some low days are part of the adjustment. But if you feel depressed about going back to work after maternity leave, or low mood or anxiety lasts more than a few weeks back from maternity leave, it's worth checking in. You might feel hopeless, cry most days, or find the fear keeps building. That could be postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety or something else, and you don't need to know which before you reach out.

Your mental health matters as much as anyone's in your family. Your physical health matters too, so talk to your doctor or a therapist about how you're feeling. Perinatal mental health support is there for the whole first year and beyond.

How therapy can help

In therapy, we can help you:

• make sense of the mixed feelings about the return
• work through grief and changes in identity
• plan for returning to work after maternity leave and set limits that fit
• manage anxiety and stress in the first months back

Our therapists offer counselling in person and online. Therapy is a place to look after your mental health while you look after everyone else, and you can start before your maternity leave ends or after you're back at work. If you're unsure whether your postpartum mental health needs attention, a first session is a good place to ask. Many postpartum parents find therapy helpful at any point in the transition, before or after the first day.