Couples Therapy in Kitchener &
Waterloo
When the relationship feels harder than it should, there is a way forward.
You are here because something has shifted. The distance between you and your partner feels real now. And you are wondering if things can change.
Maybe it happened slowly, over months or years. Maybe it was sudden. Either way, the distance between you feels real now.
You may be exhausted from the same arguments, the same silences, the same patterns that leave you both feeling unheard. You may be wondering if the person you fell in love with is still there, underneath all the hurt.
If you are ready to begin, I offer both online sessions across Ontario and in-person appointments in the Kitchener-Waterloo area. The first step is simply reaching out.
BOOK A CONSULTATION“Couples therapy is not about fixing what is broken. It is about understanding the patterns that have taken hold and learning how to reach each other again.”
You might be feeling the distance if
The warning signs in relationships are not always loud. Sometimes they are quiet. A slow retreat into silence. A heaviness that settles over ordinary moments.
You might recognize some of these:
- The car rides home are quiet. Not the comfortable kind of quiet. The kind where neither of you knows what to say anymore, or where saying anything feels like too much effort.
- The same argument keeps happening. Different topics, same undertone. You both know the script by heart. Someone withdraws. Someone pursues. Nothing gets resolved.
- You feel like roommates. Coordinating schedules, managing logistics, passing each other in the hallway. But the connection that made you partners in the first place has faded into the background.
- One of you has checked out. Maybe not completely. But the emotional investment feels uneven now. One person keeps trying while the other seems to have given up.
- There has been a betrayal. An affair. A lie that surfaced. Something that cracked the foundation of trust you thought you had.
- Or maybe nothing dramatic has happened at all. You just look at each other sometimes and wonder where the two people who fell in love actually went.
These are not signs that your relationship is doomed. They are signs that the relationship needs attention. Real, focused, supported attention.
Conflict is not a failure,
it is a pattern.
One of the most important things I want you to understand before we go any further is this: conflict in a relationship is not a sign that something is fundamentally wrong with you, your partner, or your connection.
Every couple argues. Every couple has moments of frustration, disappointment, and disconnection. That is part of sharing a life with another person.
What matters is not whether conflict exists. What matters is how it unfolds.
In many relationships, conflict follows a predictable loop. One person criticizes. The other defends. Walls go up. Someone shuts down. The issue never actually gets addressed. And both people walk away feeling unseen, unheard, and more distant than before.
These patterns are not character flaws. They are often survival strategies. Ways of protecting yourself when the emotional stakes feel too high. Ways of coping when you do not feel safe enough to be vulnerable.
Couples therapy is a space to slow down and see those patterns clearly. To understand not just what is happening, but why. And to begin building new ways of navigating conflict that actually bring you closer instead of pulling you apart.
Common relationship dynamics
Every couple is different. But certain themes come up again and again. You may see your relationship reflected in one or more of these.
Communication that keeps breaking down
You try to talk about something important and it spirals. One of you feels attacked. The other feels dismissed. The conversation ends in frustration, tears, or silence. This is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy.
Infidelity and broken trust
An affair, whether emotional or physical, changes everything. The world doesn't feel real anymore. Healing from infidelity is not quick, but it is possible. We help you rebuild something more honest than before.
Drifting apart without a clear reason
Sometimes there is no dramatic rupture. Just a slow, quiet erosion. You still care, but the spark has dimmed. Therapy helps trace the path back to each other, closing the distance that grew quietly over time.
Life transitions and external stress
A new baby. A job loss. A move. Relationships don't exist in a vacuum. Sometimes the relationship becomes the place where all the external stress lands. We help you support each other through the storm.
Anxiety & Relationship Stress
One partner over-functions. The other withdraws. It looks like a control issue, but it is often an anxiety loop. We look at how 'over-caring' or shutting down might be anxiety in disguise.
Mismatched Attachment Styles
One of you craves closeness. The other needs space. Neither is wrong, but the cycle leaves you both lonely. We map your attachment patterns so you can stop chasing and running.
Trauma & Reactivity
Sometimes the intensity of an argument isn’t about the dishes—it’s about history. Old wounds can make present conflict feel dangerous. We help you distinguish between what is happening now and what happened then.
Codependency & Boundaries
You find yourself managing your partner’s emotions at the expense of your own. You keep the peace, but you are disappearing in the process. We help you rebuild a sense of self so you can love without losing you.
Speaking Different Languages
You are both trying, but it isn’t landing. You express love through acts of service; they need words of affirmation. We act as translators so the effort you are making is actually felt.
The toll of disconnection
Relationship stress does not stay contained. It bleeds into everything.
You may notice it in your body first. Trouble sleeping. A knot in your stomach when you hear the garage door open. Tension headaches that come and go.
You may notice it in your mood. Irritability. Sadness that lingers. A low-grade anxiety that hums in the background even when nothing specific is wrong.
You may notice it in how you show up elsewhere. Less patience with your kids. Less focus at work. Less energy for friendships you used to enjoy.
When a relationship is struggling, it takes a toll on the nervous system. Your body does not distinguish between physical danger and emotional threat. When you feel disconnected from your partner, when home does not feel safe, your system responds.
This is part of why couples therapy is not a luxury. It is often a necessary intervention for your mental and physical health.
If anxiety is already part of your experience, relationship stress can amplify it. Anxiety & Connection
And if past trauma is playing a role in how you relate to your partner, that is worth exploring too. Trauma & Relationships
How couples therapy helps
Couples therapy is not about taking sides. It is not about assigning blame or declaring a winner.
It is a space where both of you can be seen and heard. Where the patterns that have kept you stuck can be examined without judgment. Where you can begin to understand not just what your partner is doing, but what they are experiencing underneath.
Slowing down. In everyday life, conversations move fast. Triggers happen. Reactions follow. Before you know it, you are back in the same familiar loop. Therapy slows things down. Way down. So you can actually see what is happening in real time. What gets activated. What gets missed. What each of you is really asking for beneath the surface.
Learning the language. Most couples do not have a shared vocabulary for talking about their relationship. They do not have a framework for understanding what is going on between them. Therapy provides that language. Concepts like bids for connection, repair attempts, and emotional flooding become tools you can use not just in session, but at home.
Creating safety. One of the most important things therapy offers is structure. A neutral space with clear boundaries. A witness who is trained to hold complexity without taking sides. For many couples, therapy is the only place where they can talk about the hard stuff without it devolving into a fight. That safety is not just a nice feature. It is often the foundation that makes change possible.
Building new habits. Insight is valuable. But insight alone does not change a relationship. What changes a relationship is behavior. The small, daily choices that add up over time. Therapy helps you identify which habits are working and which are not. And it gives you concrete practices to try between sessions. Not homework in the punitive sense. Just small experiments.
Related Paths
The Gottman Method and beyond
I use the Gottman Method as the foundation of my couples work. If you are not familiar with it, here is what you need to know. The Gottman Method is based on over 40 years of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. They studied thousands of couples, tracking what predicted relationship success and what predicted failure. The result is one of the most evidence-based approaches to couples therapy that exists.
What I appreciate about the Gottman framework is that it is both structured and deeply human. It gives couples a map. A way to understand what is happening in their relationship and what to do about it.
The Four Horsemen
One of the central concepts in the Gottman Method is what is called the Four Horsemen. These are four communication patterns that, when left unchecked, tend to erode relationships over time. Criticism. Contempt. Defensiveness. Stonewalling.
You may recognize some of these in your own relationship. Most couples have at least one or two that show up regularly. In therapy, we identify which patterns are present and work on building the antidotes. Not as a way of assigning fault, but as a way of changing the dynamics.
Building a culture of appreciation
The Gottman research also highlights the importance of positive interactions. Not grand gestures, but small, everyday moments of connection. Turning toward your partner when they make a bid for attention. Expressing appreciation, even for ordinary things. Creating rituals of connection that keep the relationship nourished.
This is not about forcing positivity or pretending problems do not exist. It is about building a foundation of goodwill that makes the hard conversations easier to have.
Beyond Gottman
While the Gottman Method is central to my approach, I also draw on other modalities when they are helpful. Sometimes attachment theory offers insight into why certain patterns feel so charged. Sometimes somatic awareness helps couples notice what is happening in their bodies during conflict. Sometimes individual history needs to be explored before the couple work can move forward.
If individual support would help alongside our couples sessions, I offer that as well. Individual Therapy.
The goal is not to follow a rigid protocol. The goal is to meet you where you are and offer the tools that will actually help.
Paths forward
What can change over time
I want to be honest with you. Couples therapy is not magic. It does not erase history. It does not guarantee a particular outcome.
Some couples come to therapy and find their way back to each other. They rebuild trust. They rediscover intimacy. They create a relationship that feels more honest and more alive than what they had before.
Some couples come to therapy and realize that the relationship has run its course. They use the space to separate with more clarity and less damage. To end things in a way that honors what was, even as they move on.
Both of these are valid outcomes. Therapy is not about saving the relationship at all costs. It is about helping you understand what you have, what you want, and what is possible.
What I can tell you is this. Most couples who commit to the process experience meaningful shifts. They fight less. They understand each other more. They feel less alone in the relationship. They have tools they did not have before.
Change does not happen overnight. But it does happen. Often in ways you cannot predict at the outset.
If you want to keep reading
Sometimes clarity comes in layers. If you want more structure without pressure, the library is a good place to land.
Visit the Digital LibraryPractical details
Online and in-person options
I offer couples therapy both online and in person. Online sessions are available across Ontario. They work well for couples with busy schedules, those who live outside the Kitchener-Waterloo area, or those who simply prefer the comfort of their own space. Video sessions are just as effective as in-person work for most couples.
In-person sessions are available in Kitchener for those who prefer face-to-face connection. Some couples find that being physically present in a shared space helps them engage differently. We can discuss which format makes sense for you.
Attending together or apart
Most couples therapy sessions involve both partners. That is the core of the work. However, there are times when individual sessions are helpful alongside the couple work. Sometimes one partner needs space to process something privately before bringing it into the room. Sometimes there are individual patterns, like anxiety or past trauma, that benefit from separate attention.
I am flexible about how we structure this. The priority is always what will help the relationship move forward.
Fees and insurance
Psychotherapy services are often covered by extended health benefits. I recommend checking with your provider to see what your plan includes.
For full details on fees and payment, visit my Fees & Insurance page.
Frequently asked questions
If you are asking the question, there is probably something worth exploring. You do not need to wait until things are desperate. Many couples benefit from therapy long before they reach a crisis point. If you are feeling disconnected, stuck in patterns, or unsure how to forward, that is enough reason to reach out.
This is common. One partner is often more ready than the other. Sometimes starting with your own individual work can create shifts that open the door for couples work later. And sometimes, once a reluctant partner understands what therapy actually involves, they become more open. I am happy to talk through options if you are in this situation.
It is rarely too late to try. Even couples who have been struggling for years can experience meaningful change. That said, both partners need to be willing to engage honestly. If one or both of you has already fully checked out, therapy may help you navigate that reality, even if it does not save the relationship.
It depends on what you are working with. Some couples see significant improvement in 8 to 12 sessions. Others benefit from longer-term support, especially if there is infidelity or deep-seated patterns to address. We will check in regularly about how things are progressing.
The first session is about getting to know each other. I will ask about your relationship history, what brought you in, and what you are hoping for. Both of you will have space to share your perspective. By the end, we will have a clearer sense of what to focus on and how to move forward.
No. My role is to support the relationship, which means supporting both of you. That does not mean I will avoid hard truths. But I will never gang up on one partner or make someone the villain. This is a safe space for both of you.
Absolutely. Couples therapy is for any two people in a committed relationship, whether married, engaged, common-law, or dating. The structure of your relationship does not determine whether therapy can help.
Therapy can still be valuable if you are moving toward separation. It can help you end the relationship with more clarity, less resentment, and better communication, especially if you will continue to co-parent or share other responsibilities. Some couples find that therapy helps them separate in a way that preserves respect for what they once had.
Yes. I offer online couples therapy across Ontario. Many couples find virtual sessions convenient and effective. If you prefer in-person, I see clients in Kitchener-Waterloo as well.
The first step is to book a consultation. This is a brief conversation where we can talk about what is going on and whether working together feels like a good fit. There is no pressure. Just a chance to ask questions and see if this is the right next step.
A quiet invitation
If you have read this far, something is pulling you toward change. Maybe you are ready. Maybe you are not sure yet. Either way, the fact that you are here matters.
Reaching out for couples therapy is not an admission of failure. It is an act of care. For yourself. For your partner. For the relationship you are trying to protect.
You do not have to have it all figured out before you call. You do not have to know exactly what you need. You just have to be willing to try something different.
I would be honored to sit with you and your partner as you find your way forward.
Not sure if we are a fit? Read more about Leanne’s background and approach.