What if only one of us wants to separate?

That is very common, and it is exactly the situation the discernment approach above was built for. In therapy, each person gets time to speak, and nobody is asked to agree before they are ready.

Is this the same as mediation?

No. Mediation focuses on legal and practical agreements, such as property and schedules. Divorce therapy is different. It focuses on the emotional side: grief, conflict, communication and looking after yourself. Many people use both during a divorce.

Can you help with a high-conflict separation?

Often, yes. A high-conflict divorce puts enormous pressure on everyone involved. We can work with each person individually, and sometimes jointly, to lower the temperature. Where there is fear or abuse, individual appointments come first and joint therapy may not be appropriate.

Do we have to be married?

No. Counselling here is for common-law and long-term partners, and anyone ending a significant relationship. The grief of a separation without a divorce can be just as real.

How long does counselling take?

It varies. The shorter therapy for couples who are unsure is usually brief. Divorce counselling for individuals may last a few months or longer, depending on what you need. We review the pace of therapy with you as we go.

A gravel road splitting in two through a tall pine forest in late autumn, an image for discernment counselling

Separation and divorce counselling

For couples deciding whether to stay, couples who are separating, and anyone rebuilding after a separation or divorce, in person and online across Ontario.

Book a consultation

In person in Kitchener-Waterloo Online across Ontario

Maybe you have been going back and forth for months, lying awake and rehearsing conversations you have not had. Maybe the choice has already been made, by you or for you, and now there are two households to figure out. Or maybe the divorce is behind you on paper, but not yet anywhere else. Wherever you are, you do not have to sort it out without support. Divorce counselling is part of our wider couples therapy services, and it moves at a pace you can manage.

You do not need to know what you want before you reach out. Book a consultation when you feel ready, and therapy will start from wherever you are.

When a relationship reaches a crossroads

Few people arrive at the idea of divorce suddenly. More often it builds slowly: the same arguments without resolution, a growing quiet at the dinner table, a sense of living side by side rather than with each other. The uncertainty itself can be exhausting. You might notice that you think about it constantly and still feel no closer to an answer. This often shows up when every small disagreement starts to feel like evidence for one side or the other.

If you are not sure whether to stay

Ambivalence is one of the hardest places to live. Part of you wants to try again, and part of you is already imagining life after divorce. Both parts are real, and neither one makes you a bad person.

I do not know if I want to fix this or leave.

In therapy, we can give that question a steadier home, so you can look at it with more clarity instead of swinging between hope and despair every other day.

If one of you has already decided

Sometimes one partner is leaning out while the other is still hoping to repair things. Being out of step about divorce is painful for both people. One may feel guilty and impatient; the other may feel shocked and desperate to hold on. We welcome you as a couple or one at a time, and we do not treat either person as the problem.

Discernment counselling for couples who are unsure

Discernment counselling is a short, focused form of counselling for exactly this situation: one partner leaning in, the other leaning out. It is not about fixing the marriage in a few sessions. The goal is clarity and confidence about which direction to take, rather than a rushed decision, so that whatever you choose, you choose it with your eyes open.

Counselling usually weighs three paths. You might keep things as they are for now while you think. You might move toward separation, with a better grasp of how the relationship got here. Or you might commit to a defined period of couples therapy with divorce set aside while you try. None of these is treated as failure, and nobody is pushed toward one answer.

Much of this counselling happens in time with each person on their own, as well as time with the two of you. That balance helps each person speak honestly without having to defend themselves in every sentence. Some people find the therapy itself brings a little relief, simply because the question is finally being looked at rather than avoided.

Divorce support for couples who are separating

Once the choice to separate has been made, a different kind of therapy is often needed. Separation counselling, sometimes called separation therapy, is not about saving the relationship. It is about going through a divorce with as little damage as possible, especially when the two of you will stay connected through children, family or shared history.

Without therapy, these conversations can turn into the same fight again and again. With a divorce counsellor in the room, there is space to slow down, say what matters and listen without bracing for the next blow. Couples going through a divorce often work on:

How to talk about the separation without every exchange becoming a fight
Telling the kids, ideally side by side and with the same message
Lowering conflict when emotions are high
Boundaries in shared spaces while you still live under one roof
The strain of co-parenting across two homes
Holidays, birthdays and extended family events
Sadness for the life you planned, felt by both people
Staying respectful when it is genuinely hard
Communication that still works after you live apart
What each person needs for moving forward

This is joint therapy, but it is not a legal process. We do not divide property or draft agreements. What divorce counselling can do is help both people stay steady enough to make good choices elsewhere, while the divorce process runs its course with your lawyers.

Divorce counselling for individuals

A single sailboat on calm water under a soft peach sky, an image for starting over after divorce

Many people come to divorce counselling on their own, sometimes in the first raw weeks, sometimes a year or more after the papers were signed. Some chose the ending; some did not. Time in therapy gives you a place that is entirely yours, with no one to protect and no one to perform for.

Grief, anger and an unfamiliar future

The end of a marriage is a real loss, even when it was the right choice. Grief can arrive in waves, mixed with anger, guilt, relief and fear, sometimes in the same afternoon. Anxiety about money, housing or the future is common. So is depression: a heavy flatness that makes ordinary tasks feel enormous. Stress can show up in sleep, appetite, concentration and your wider mental health.

None of this means something is wrong with you. It is what people often go through in a divorce, when the shape of life changes. Individual therapy offers a calm place to feel it without being rushed toward "getting over it". Healing after a divorce is rarely a straight line, and acceptance tends to arrive slowly, alongside closure that you build rather than wait for. Where a divorce followed an affair or other infidelity, trust in yourself and in others can take extra care, and therapy makes room for that too.

Finding your footing again

After a divorce, many people find they have to relearn who they are on their own: the quiet of a half-empty apartment, one toothbrush in the cup, decisions that used to be shared. The adjustment takes time.

Who am I now?

Therapy at this stage can help with:

Identity and confidence after a long partnership
Self-esteem that has taken a hit
Setting limits with an ex-partner
New routines that feel like your own
The first birthdays and celebrations apart
Handovers and the drive home afterwards
Coping with loneliness without rushing to fill it
Old patterns you would rather not repeat
Emotional recovery at a pace that fits you

Dating and new relationships

At some point, the question of dating may come up. Some people feel ready quickly; others wonder whether they ever will be. Therapy can help you notice what you want, spot old patterns from past relationships early and think through what a new partner might mean for your household, including the possibility of a blended family later on.

Children, parenting and family changes

For parents, one of the heaviest worries in any family is the children. How much do we tell them? What words do we use? What if they take sides? Therapy helps parents think through these conversations honestly and at a level that fits each child, so the kids hear something steady.

The strain of co-parenting is something many people bring to their own sessions: handovers, different rules in two homes, an ex who parents differently. We do not write a parenting plan; your lawyer or a mediator handles that side. Counselling can support you through those conversations so you arrive calmer and clearer.

When it would help, our team also offers family therapy and counselling for blended families, where children join alongside a parent or caregiver. Parenting through a family separation is hard, and you do not have to work it out without emotional support.

Our divorce therapists and their training

Our team brings training in the Gottman Method and in emotionally focused therapy, and we work relationally, with a trauma-informed lens. That means we pay attention to the practical side of divorce as well as the emotional weight underneath it, including any old trauma it stirs up. Each therapist who does this work here is a Registered Psychotherapist, and our therapists see separation and divorce counselling as a regular part of their practice with clients across the region.

In counselling, nobody here takes sides, and nobody pushes you toward staying married or getting a divorce. Our role is to keep the room safe and help each partner be heard. We do not give legal advice. What you share stays confidential, within the limits of the law, which your therapist explains at the start.

Where there is abuse, violence, or one person is afraid of the other, joint therapy is not the right starting point. Individual support comes first, with one of our therapists. If you are in danger right now, please reach out to crisis support straight away.

Sessions in Kitchener and online across Ontario

Book a consultation

We see couples and individuals at our office in Kitchener, a short drive from Waterloo and Cambridge. Many people choose online therapy instead, by video or phone from anywhere in the province. Virtual appointments can be especially helpful when a divorce means two households, or when sitting in a waiting room together feels like too much.

We offer daytime, evening and weekend appointments. Many extended health plans cover this therapy, so it is worth checking yours.

When you are ready, book a consultation. You can tell us as much or as little as you like, and we will help you find the right divorce therapist on our team.

Questions about divorce therapy

Book a consultation

In person in Kitchener-Waterloo. Online across Ontario.